


and whither then

by Thatsjustprime



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Crossover, Discworld AU, Gen, Spoilers, Welcome to... the Disc Zone, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 01:33:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10687038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatsjustprime/pseuds/Thatsjustprime
Summary: In Lancre, a new Witch comes to town.(And other Discworld / TAZ crossover stories, possibly. Spoilers for both series.)





	1. A New Witch in Lancre.

**Author's Note:**

> WOW okay hello this is rough, im not really a big ficcer but i really wanted to put ... something out there. This is probably going to be a few drabbles based off of my headcanon crossover fusion of TAZ and Discworld, but that mostly means just.. THB & Co in Discworld.

There are three _very_ odd things about the new witch in training, who’s wandered into Lancre. Three very odd things  _ indeed _ .

The first: He’s a man, grown, a thick beard and glasses perched on his eyes. Male witches are rare indeed, practically unheard of to most people, but Granny Weatherwax isn’t most people. Witches, generally, come with a good head on their shoulders (debatably; except to other witches, who know best) and a sense of purpose, hard work, and order. Chaotic order, but an order all the same. Witches are the backbone of every small town, every community close knit. They are the steel underneath silk. They are sensible and strong-willed, and as it’s known, men generally aren’t  _ either  _ of these things.

The second: He’s a dwarf. Now this,  _ this  _ is truly unheard of. Dwarves were never particularly designed for witchcraft, too concerned with silly things like mining and delving deep, crafting weapons in the old days where things were bloodier and messier. Gems and Gold were the ways of Dwarves, not small folk and certainly not witchery. Now their skills for creation are focused on other things: alchemy, invention, smithery of fine things for fine and fancy people. A dwarf keeps his head underground, not on top of it, not with feet standing on land, but dank dripping caves and dark secret places.

The third, and perhaps, strangest all, are the children. One still small enough to be carried around in a sling across his chest, occasionally rearranged to his back when there are other things to be doing. The other one old enough to stand and walk, and with eyes much smarter than a little one should have, in a dress worn but not ragged, who’d always cling a copy of  _ Where’s My Cow  _ much too tightly for someone who, most likely, was not mastered in the arts of reading. Yet.

So. Three very odd things about this very odd dwarf, who came to become a Witch at an age much too old. (A  _ father,  _ for heaven’s sake.)

Granny Weatherwax wasn’t particularly fond of children, but the infant didn’t kick up  _ too  _ much of a fuss and the little girl was always quiet, except when speaking to her father. He had nothing but an old book of Om, faded and worn with use, and his children on him when he arrived, along with a few personal belongings, on her doorstep. That, and a gleam in his eye that she didn’t trust  _ one  _ bit. (Gytha was going to  _ love  _ this one.)

She lets him in, but there is a scowl on her face as she does. She, of course, knew he was coming long ago.

(Magrat adores the little ones. Nanny Ogg slips the girl sweets when she thinks the Dwarf isn’t looking.)

The Dwarf smiles, Book of Om tucked neatly under one arm, and gives a great warm smile with a hint of (harmless, but still disgusting to Esmerelda) flirting in his eyes. He steps inside, taking a deep breath.

And that is how Merle Highchurh’s witch training begins.


	2. Unseen Consequences.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Arrivals at the Unseen University. Ridcully is less than pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dabs damb TJ back at it again w/ the drabbles. so uhhh i have like one more that im working on and almost done w/ and another that i have planned out but havent actually read it.  
> also: timelines. what are those. What are tHoooose,  
> anyways spoilers in this chapter bc Guess who, it's the Hell Twins i love them n im gay

There are two new wizards at Unseen University, and Ridcully is extremely nervous about  _ both  _ of them. They’re twins. Trouble, and nothing but. So alike that you can hardly tell the difference, but he suspects that they could be appear more alike, and only dress differently for the benefit of others. What’s worse? One of them is a woman, and she’s not quiet about it. Neither of them are quiet about  _ anything at all.  _ They are twins, they are rowdy, loud, obnoxious, and looking to cause trouble. 

Ridcully immediately dislikes them. (In a way that’s not dislike at all, but appearances  _ are  _ appearances, and if Ridcully isn’t kicking up a fuss about something, someone’s bound to assume he’s well and truly dead, and take his place as Archchancellor.) They fit right in, while simultaneously sticking out like two twin sore thumbs. His resentment (affection) only grows when one of them, the boy, wanders into his study with a fully baked pie. It is  _ mouthwatering  _ and fruity and the best thing Ridcully has ever tasted. The girl comes in with a barely detectable sneer, or smirk, or genuine smile--it’s very hard to tell, but she comes with a presence that cannot be ignored. 

She’s trying to be intimidating, and if Ridcully were a lesser man, he would certainly be intimidated. As it stands, he’s impressed. Slightly. She’s got the steel of a witch with the natural born curiosity of a wizard, and so does her brother. Not a passive curiosity, either, but the kind that’s more likely to set off a spell, or a trap, or a curse, just to see what happens.

He’s almost nervous for the state of his University.  _ Almost _ .

They do not dress like wizards, and dress exactly like a wizard should: with their own flairs and disregard for anyone else’s opinions. Ridcully notices that they swap clothing on occasion, and he’s sure that others notice, too, but no one in all of Unseen University would be idiotic enough to comment on the matter. 

Together, they have enough combined magical talent to raise real hell if they ever wanted to. Luckily, the two seem to have inherited another unifying trait among wizards: Laziness. Without their sloth, Ridcully would be very concerned about his University, and perhaps the Disc, indeed.

He isn’t stupid, after all.

His first ever encounter with them goes as such: He’s alone at his desk, in his study, pretending to be doing important wizardly paperwork and sneaking a snack in, instead. The girl, Lup, kicks his door in with an umbrella hanging off her arm, chin lifted in defiance. 

“Sup homeslice,” Says the boy, Taako. “Hope you don’t mind us coming in, ‘cause Cha’girl and I are doing it anyways.”


	3. Fit Right In: Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus Burnsides joins the Night's Watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my name is tj  
> and when its nite  
> or when the mune  
> is shining bryte  
> i write sad things  
> abt my faves  
> this chapter's magnus  
> and it is angsyt

After Julia dies, there isn’t much left for Magnus in Raven’s Roost. Just ashes, a broken chair, and an empty shell of a burnt-out house. Magnus picks up his axe, after that, and starts walking. He doesn’t stop until he finds Ankh-Morpork.

Magnus isn’t the first lost soul to find his way to Ankh-Morpork (not the first to lose someone he loves, and go looking for something bigger, somewhere to forget), and he certainly won’t be the last, but he’s here, now, and that’s what matters. He spends a few days helping Beggars on the street get fed, letting little old ladies cross the street, and restlessly carving ducks before he finds a firm hand on his shoulder and a kind look from none other than Captain Carrot of the Night’s watch, along with an offer for a good job and a place to stay. It’s a miracle he hasn’t gotten into any  _ real  _ trouble before the good captain found him. (He certainly gets into trouble afterwards.)

The Watch is everything Magnus needs. He’s strong, and can use force if he needs to, and won’t lie about enjoying knocking a few heads in, but he’s helping, too. Protecting. It’s what he’s meant to do. Not quite as strong as the resident Troll, but high up on the list of the Watch’s muscle, he’s often sent to break off disputes. He’s still cold, he’s still sad and he still misses Julia, but.. He’s not alone anymore, even if he still feels a little lonely.

When he steps into Commander Vimes’ office, the head of the Watch looks at him, and groans.

“Not  _ another  _ one,” He says, and Magnus has no idea what he means by that, but he’ll smile anyways. (It’s not quite as bright as Captain Carrot’s, but one day, it might be.)

He and Carey hit it off immediately, and he takes a liking to the small, reptilian former thief. Killian he likes too, and he suspects she likes him, too, in her own way. He spends most of his time off or breaks hanging out with the two.

After a brief and awkward conversation, Magnus gets a new training partner in Carey along with the knowledge that she has a girlfriend in Killian. Magnus is extremely pleased at this outcome.

(Vimes allows the partnership. It’s good for Magnus, and Carey, too. He’s never seen the poor man smile with his teeth showing, until now.)

And, of course, there’s Angua. By Gods, it was love at first sight when she was on all fours and covered with fur.

He was  _ slightly _ disappointed to discover she was a werewolf and not a regular dog, but not at all apologetic for the declarations of love and admiration and the scratches behind the ear she had gotten beforehand.

Magnus is a hidden asset to the watch. Amiable, though not as charming as Carrot, he’s strong, and sharper than he seems. He can pick up a hint, and has a way with animals that would impress Sybil and her dragon-charming ways. His sense of justice and mile-wide protective streak, along with his unending blasted empathy seem to be his best qualities, though the trade-off is his near-suicidal recklessness. 

He doesn’t kill anyone, though. He’s much too gentle for it, even with his protective ferocity. (But there  _ are  _ several arm-related incidents that have Vimes groaning at the paperwork.) 


End file.
